Loneliness
What can I do?
There are more lonely people today than ever before.
A widely cited U.S. Surgeon General’s report and Gallup data indicate roughly one in five adults struggle with daily loneliness, and the number of Americans reporting zero close friends has quadrupled since 1990.
This morning I received an email from a person who wrote that having read my novel “sparked a few thoughts I haven’t been able to shake in a good way.”
My reaction ran like this: Should I contact him? He is likely another scammer, from whom I’ve been receiving email up to three times a day. On the other hand, he could be sincere. The whole point of my writing is to find connections between people, people who have been through the same journeys as me and my characters.
From there, what sorts of people are scammers? Persons who represent phony selves to everyone in the name of greed. In a way, I began to feel pity for them—spending their entire lives as a phony person, never truly connecting their true selves with anyone. Do they even know who they truly are? Is presenting themselves as a counterfeit the only way they know how to associate with another person?
This state is the ultimate loneliness.
I’ve been feeling a little lonely the past weeks.
I’m 81. The me I used to be traveled, hiked, and backpacked all over the west and Central America. My “church” is wilderness.
Now I have a painful back and a left leg that drops out from under me. I can’t stand long enough to prepare recipes.
Since I moved so often to explore new areas, all my friends are spread across the U.S., and my best friend here in Tucson passed away a few years ago. I correspond with friends over the internet, but that is not the same as a flesh and blood person right here in the same room. With me.
Rcent dreams reflect my situation.
Do you have dreams where everything goes wrong and, no matter what you do, you can’t make it go right? Or you can’t move?
I’ve had three different dreams about cleaning, wiping away filth from every surface around me. Could that one be about trying to clean myself up, restoring myself to my former healthier state?
It is my belief that if a thing doesn’t work, take steps to fix it. Particularly where that thing is about self. I can’t become younger, so what else can be done?
I tried a pain clinic, but their suggestion did not help.
Next step: physical therapy. This helped a previous bad shoulder and I do the exercises every day. I’ve had two appointments for my back and leg and, so far, just doing something makes me feel better.
“Put your money where your mouth is.” I am talking with a therapist once a week, and getting my feelings out in the open helps tremendously. I am online with Talkiatry. The first therapist wasn’t quite right, so I tried again and found my connection.
Loneliness? I recently discovered an organization called Stitch, for connecting with folks over 50. They are all over the world, including here in Tucson. In the first week I met two ladies with whom I feel a connection.
What about that email I received from the possible scammer?
Maybe he’s real. I decided it is worth finding out, so I will respond.
Are you lonely? Are you doing something about it?
We are all in the same boat, at one time or another.
Connection.
MY BOOKS
Connection again here. I am posting chapters from my manuscript, Aftermath: The Long Way Home, on Critique Circle. I had loads of help from critters on CC with my first two novels, and the connection with aspiring writers on CC is fantastic.
BOOK RECOMMENDATION:
Nothing “heavy” this month. Here’s a mystery/crime historical novel I found fascinating for its in-depth immersion in the period, gripping plot, and engaging characters.
The Strangler Vine by M. J. Carter. I’ve always enjoyed stories that take place in historical India, and this one is excellent. It is written by a woman and contains no major female characters, which I found interesting. One is a young soldier with the East India Company, new to India. The other is a middle-aged secret political agent gone native, a genius at languages and disguises, disenchanted with the whole ethos of British rule, but who cannot resist the challenge of an unresolved mystery.
I love watching a character change and grow in a novel, and our young soldier learns just how naive he is about India and the Company.
Have you found yourself learning and changing because of a connection with another person?
Until next month . . .